dealing with dementia | Trinity Christian Life Coaching

Alzheimer’s Patients Don’t Like to Be Alone

Posted on July 18, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

While working with dementia and Alzheimer’s patients over the years, I’ve noticed most of them don’t like to be alone. This could be because of the confusion the disease creates.

Those with Alzheimer's are more perceptive than we give them credit — Those with Alzheimer’s are more perceptive than we give them credit

Sometimes the disease demands they are not alone because of their actions, also.

However, some of the reasons I’ve noticed this are:

Need reassurance not alone
Need reassurance someone cares about them and loves them
Need guidance to know what’s next
Need comforting when they are confused

What reasons have you noticed in Alzheimer’s patients that don’t like to be alone?

When A Loved One is Dying

Posted on July 11, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

I often see on message boards questions about loved ones that are in the end stages of life.

Often this includes loved ones:

Those dying see a world beyond what the rest of us can see

Seeing people that others can’t see
Talking to people others can’t see in the room
Reaching up or out towards others
Making comments such as “He’s so beautiful” or “heaven is beautiful”
Mentioning loved ones long deceased
Even claiming to have a glimpse of heaven and sharing what was seen
Open eyes when in a coma and look straight up
Smile at an unseen entity

All of this is very common in the end stages of life. This is a time and occurrence that none of us are going to understand until we are there.

Just as the journey through life is different for everyone, the journey towards life in heaven is different for everyone.

However, I want to assure you that all of these situations mentioned are very common.

This is a time to love and comfort the person leaving us for a better place.

Remember, hearing is the last of our senses to leave us. Even if your loved one is in a coma they can still hear you.

We may not be able to see what our loved one sees, but we can be assured that angels and loved ones long deceased are with us and waiting to escort our loved one into their new home and to meet Jesus.

Caregiving Can’t Be a Lone Sport

Posted on June 27, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

“I can do it alone.” I’ve often heard this from caregivers. They think they can do it all alone.

However, we can’t!

I recently heard a story from a woman that had a stroke in her early 20s. Her husband insisted on caring for her by himself for the next twenty years. He refused to accept help from anyone. Now they are divorced and to receive the care she needs, she is in a nursing facility.

Remember:

Caregivers cannot carry the burden alone.
We all need time to rest and recharge our batteries.

Often we hear of the caregivers that pass away long before the one they are caring for. This is because they wear themselves out.

As caregivers we need to:

Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
Develop a schedule and strategy that will work.
Bring in or hire a team that can support you.
Explore your options and local resources.
Take time for ourselves
Remember we need a team or village

How do you prevent from making caregiving a lone sport?

9 Ways Alzheimer’s Changes Our Loved Ones

Posted on June 20, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

The diagnosis of dementia and Alzheimer’s means the change in our lives as we know it.

Often the change is slow and other times it is rapid.

However, the one thing that is for sure is that Alzheimer’s changes our loved ones.

Our loves one may now be more:

People with Alzheimer's aren't that different than the rest of us. They just want to feel loved. — People with Alzheimer’s aren’t that different than the rest of us. They just want to feel loved.

agitated
easily flustered
react differently
may express anger
may show out
may withdrawal into self
lose interest in previous hobbies and activities
personality change
becomes more fixated on things

What changes have you seen after an Alzheimer’s diagnosis?

10 Benefits of Hospice

Posted on June 13, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Recently, I’ve learned of several families that placed a loved one in hospice.

This is never an easy decision. There’s no easy way to prepare for this.

However, I’ve worked with hospice on numerous occasion.

Some of the benefits of hospice are:

Helps in decision making
Offers support groups
Offers spiritual support
Certified and knowledgeable workers in the end of life stages
Provides knowledgeable feedback
Oversees the final preparations {such as contacting mortuary, having death certificate issued, etc.}
Provides services to you at home, in a hospital, at a nursing facility or at their own facility
Continues to care for your loved one through a decline—while usually this is for six months or less, at times their services extend beyond this time period. If the loved one improves they can be discharged and later readmitted when a decline reoccurs.
Give the patient and their family a sense of dignity
Respects the patient’s wishes
Bonus: Lessens financial burden of being in the hospital

How has hospice been beneficial for you?

Acceptance of an Alzheimer’s Diagnosis

Posted on June 6, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

I’ve worked with many families that have a loved one with Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Often I see a struggle to accept the diagnosis.

Accepting a loved one has Alzheimer's is not always easy. Sometimes we have a mental block. — Accepting a loved one has Alzheimer’s is not always easy. Sometimes we have a mental block.

This happens in a variety of ways:

Mental block
Inability to accept changes
Lack of knowledge about the disease
Belief loved one will be healed
Denial

Often you hear the saying that when you have a loved one with dementia you “mourn the loss of them now, to mourn the loss of them all over again when they’re gone.”

That is so true. The person we know and love is no more as dementia changes the person.

Acceptance of the disease is a private journey that everyone has to reach in their own way and time.

However, a few tips to help are:
Cheirsh the time you have together
Educated self on the disease
Celebrate the time you have with your loved one
Listen to the professionals and be open to what they are saying
Understand you can slow the disease but not stop it
Pray and ask God’s help and guidance on this journey

How have you dealt with the Alzheimer’s diagnosis of a loved one?

The Sad Cycle of Alzheimer’s

Posted on May 30, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Alzheimer’s is a sad disease. We slowly watch our loved one die.

I’ve heard the saying “mourning your loved one now, to mourn all over again.”

This is true, we are mourning the loss of who our loved one was with the loss of abilities and interest now.

However, when s/he passes we will mourn them all over again.

This is why it is importance to raise Alzheimer’s awareness and find a cure.

Understanding When An Action is Important

Posted on May 23, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

I often notice while working with the elderly, especially Alzheimer’s and dementia patients, that some stories are repeated over and over. There have been times I’ve heard the stories so much that I feel that I can tell the story.

Those stories are important to the teller and we can learn lessons from the experience

However, I also learn more about the person while listening to the story. Sometimes through the retelling I can glean nuggets of insight about the person’s life.

However, I recently had a conversation with another worker that got me to thinking. She said “when they repeat the story over and over it is really important to them.”

I realized that she had a valid point. That incident was important to that person or made an impact on their life and/or thought process.

I realized this can also prove true when actions are repeated over and over again. After all actions speak louder than words.

What story or action is important to your loved one?

12 Ways to relieve stress and anxiety

Posted on May 16, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

The day has been stressful and you find that you are anxious. Your loved one has been demanding today and you need to unwind.

Some ways to relieve stress and anxiety include:

Bubble bath
Take a walk
Exercise or dance
Read a book
Find a quiet place to sit, listen to the birds and sip a cup of tea or coffee
Deep breathing techniques
Journal
Talk to a friend
Use scents that are soothing, such as lavender, with candles or room fresheners
Play with a pet or child
Laugh
Get a massage

How do you relieve stress and anxiety?

7 Tips for Planning Activities for Alzheimer’s

Posted on May 9, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Working with Alzheimer’s patients, I am often challenged. How do I find activities that are enjoyable and engaging for my residents?

Some tips to keep in mind are:

Focus on the enjoyment of the activity and not the results. I had one lady that would play checkers with me. This mainly meant moving the pieces around the board. We made up the rules as we went along. Yet, she was enjoying herself so that’s all that mattered.
Be aware of physical impairments, including sight and hearing problems
Keep the individuals skills and abilities in mind
Relate to activities that were previously enjoyable through either hobbies or work life
Look for activities that are enjoyable for the person
Set a schedule for when certain activities are conducted {this can even include meals and bathing routine}
Consider the capabilities of the individual

What do you take into consideration when planning activities?

Importance of Caregiving Support groups

Posted on May 2, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Caregiving can be a very lonely task. After all you spend hours or days with the person being cared for.

During this time family, friends and co-workers may not understand all of the strain and frustration you feel.

These groups are important because they provide an outlet of discussion with other likeminded individuals. These individuals are experiencing the same concerns and struggles and need to vent or talk through their problems.

However, there are groups where you can find support.

A few places to find support include:

Alzheimer’s organization
Church support groups
Facebook groups
Online support groups
Workplace support groups
Meetup Groups

Other places to check include:

Doctor
Local Agency on Aging
Family caregiver support program
Skilled nursing or rehab center

Where have you found caregiving support?

Alzheimer’s is not dumb

Posted on April 25, 2016August 21, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Working with Alzheimer and dementia patients, I often witness family and/or staff talking about a person right in front of them.

Things will be said that are demeaning or degrading to the person.

Often the attitude is that because the person has Alzheimer’s or dementia, then s/he does not understand what is being said about them.

I’ve discovered through observing my residents that this is not often the case.

Yes, there are times when they may not understand. However, more often than not they understand more than they can express. They understand exactly what is being said about them. This can also show the person how those speaking really care about them.

So as with all things be careful what you say. If the individual did not have Alzheimer’s, would you be saying these things directly to them?

8 Simple Activities for Alzheimer’s

Posted on April 18, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Even simple things are enjoyable for someone with Alzheimer’s. Often they can do these and there is not a lot of stress or expectation in these activities.

This can include:

Many Alzheimer's patients find joy in baby dolls — Many Alzheimer’s patients find joy in baby dolls

Singing a song
Clapping hands
Playing with a baby doll
Having an ice cream cone
Enjoying a hand or shoulder massage
Having a special treat
A visit from a loved one
Time with a child or pet

While this may seem very simple for us, for a person with Alzheimer’s it can be a big deal. Such a simple act can be very special to our loved one.

What simple acts are special for your loved one?

9 Tips for Hiring caregivers

Posted on April 11, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Hiring good caregivers can be a challenge.

A few things you can do is:

Make the right decision in hiring a caregiver

Make a list of what is needed and expected
Interview the candidate
Determine if the person will be a good fit with your loved one
Know what you can afford to pay
Determine other responsibilities person has outside of work
Check background and references
Make sure can work hours needed
Check for any possible irritants {such as smoking, etc}
Go with your gut

What questions do you ask when hiring caregivers?

13 Ways to Reduce Stress

Posted on April 4, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Last week, I discussed the stresses of caregiving and how it can affect your health.

So what are some ways you can reduce stress?

Take time for yourself
Make list of what needs to be done
Prioritize
Be willing to say “no”
Ask for help and then accept the help
Stay physically active
Keep a sense of humor
Research caregiving resources in your community
Don’t feel guilty
Don’t try to be “perfect”
Join a support group
Make time for family and friends
Above all, make time for yourself

How do you deal with the stress of caregiving?

9 Symptoms of Caregiver Stress

Posted on March 28, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Caregiving is very stressful for caregivers.

Caregiver stress can lead to:

Caregiving is stressful. We need to remember to care for ourselves.

Exhaustion
Anger
Guilt
Loneliness
Depression and anxiety
Health issues
Higher levels of obesity
Weaker immune system
More long term medical problems

As a caregiver, it is important to remember that you matter. We must take care of ourselves in order to properly care for our loved ones.

Dealing with Family issues

Posted on March 21, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Time and again I hear about various family issues with families.

This can run the gamut from one child carrying the burden of caregiving alone to money and legal issues.

Caregiving is very tiring and taxing.

On top of this many caregivers are working jobs and caring for families in addition to their caregiving duties.

Caregiving takes a village. The more people on your team that can share the burden, the easier it is for everyone.

However, that is seldom the case and often one or two people are left with the burden all on their own.

So what can you do if you need help?

Be honest and ask
Explain the situation and needs to others
Hire a team if you’re able to

Sadly, there are times when no solution is found between other parties. I hear stories where this is the case on an almost daily basis.

I wish I could provide a solution. However, the only answer I have is to pray and seek God’s guidance.

7 Ways Personality emphasized in Alzheimer’s

Posted on March 14, 2016August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

I’ve discovered that with personality traits and characteristics from childhood and adulthood are often intensified and emphasized in dementia and Alzheimer’s patients.

These can include a variety of personality characteristics. Some that I’ve seen are: