Transitional Friday: 9 Considerations When Finding a New Home

A friend of mine recently purchased a new home.  This led to a stressful time, longing to make the right decision and find a house that would become a home.home for sale

  1. Assess your needs in advance
  2. Be realistic about what you can afford
  3. Is this a starter home or a family home you hope to stay in the rest of your life
  4. Do you need room for growth?  Are you planning on expanding your family?
  5. Search for the amenities you need or can’t live without
  6. Decide what you can live without if necessary
  7. Search for a home that meets the needs for you and your family
  8. Consider the neighborhood, surrounding schools, etc.  Is the home on or near a busy shopping center or road?  Is this something you can live with or will this cause too many delays?
  9. Is this home?  Do you love the house?  Does it feel like home?

What aspects did you take into consideration when searching for a new home?

Transitional Friday: 7 Lessons from Starting Over

starting over 2

 

I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve had to start over.   The reasons for this are varied, but include moving, divorce, starting a new job, returning to college, etc.

With the new year here, we are all making new resolutions.   Often this includes losing weight.  Yet, two weeks later we’ve given up.   New resolutions are all part of starting over and learning new ways and techniques to improve ourselves.

Starting over can be exciting when thinking about the new possibilities.  Each change brings new hopes and dreams. starting over

  1. Adjustment takes time
  2. Embrace the experience
  3. Be thankful for the opportunity
  4. Look forward—what hopes and dreams does this experience open up
  5. Remember God has you here for a reason
  6. What lessons can you learn from this experience
  7. This is a new beginning

What have you learned from starting over?

Transitional Friday: Ways to Develop New Routines

Life is all about changes.  With change comes new routines.routines

When making new routines, the important thing is to discover what is the most important things that HAVE to be done in a day.  Some things that must be done are work, care for children, eat, exercise, etc.

In what ways is your spouse, children and important people in your life being put first?

Next, look at the parts of your life that can be cut or toned down. What things do you not enjoy doing any longer or has become a hassle? Are the children constantly being run to various lessons?   Can these lessons be cut in half?  Which volunteering options can be given up or put on hold?  Who can help you meet your needs? {This can include transportation, cooking, cleaning, etc.}

Next, what is left?  What do you enjoy doing? Is there a hobby you love?  Can you find an hour a week for that golf game, crafting project, etc.?

Developing new routines is all about setting priorities and pairing down!

How do you set new routines?

Transitional Friday: Home is where Heart is

home where heart isFor years I was unhappy with where I was living.  I did not want to be there.  I was fighting a spiritual battle, between what I wanted and what God wanted for my life.

There were times when the situation weighted so heavily on my heart that it gnawed away at me and I became angry.

Then a few months ago, God opened amazing doors for a new job in a new city an hour away.

I realized during this time that the place I’d been fighting living, had become more of a home than I ever expected or anticipated.give thanks

Only once I had left, did I realize how much this town and place had become home.

Often we don’t realize how important a place or person is until they are gone.

We are told to be “thankful in all things.”

This isn’t always easy, especially in trying circumstance.  I’ve really struggled with this lesson at times.

However, that is exactly what God wants for us.

What have you been thankful in?

Transitional Friday: Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayer

God hearsFor years I waited, longing and struggling to change and improve my circumstances and situation.  After leaving an abusive relationship, the journey to heal and recover took years.

I wondered if I would ever find the person I’d lost along the path.

I longed to be able to stand on my own two feet and to find a way to do this, but nothing seemed to be working.

I wondered if God heard my cries and prayers!  Had He forsaken me!  Would my circumstances ever improve?

Don’t get me wrong, my circumstances weren’t awful and were a whole lot better than they had been in the abusive relationship.  I just wanted more to my life.  There are still things, such as a family, that only God knows if and when that prayer will be answered.

God reminded me:God answers

  1. His reasons are often beyond are grasp
  2. He hears all of our prayers, cries, and tears
  3. His way is better than my way
  4. He is preparing me for a future that only He knows
  5. His timing is not my timing
  6. Sometimes His answer is no or not right now
  7. It’s not all about me.  There are times we are where we are to help someone else.  One example is being a caregiver.

What have you learned in the wait?

Transitional Friday: 7 Lessons Learned from Discouragement

discouragement

 

 

 

There have been times when I wondered if anything was going my way.

No matter how hard I tried or how much effort I put into the endeavor nothing seemed to work.

This led to great disappointment and discouragement.  There were days when depression hit and I nothing could lift my mood.

When discouraged, I have to remind myself that:discouragement quote

  1. This too shall pass
  2. God is preparing me for something better
  3. God has a better plan
  4. There is a reason for this
  5. I need to spend more time in God’s word and in prayer seeking His will
  6. I need to work off the depression
  7. My circumstances don’t identify me as a person

What has discouragement taught you?

Transitional Friday: 10 Lessons I learned from Job Searching

not hiring

 

 

 

 

 

Even before unemployment kicked in, I spent two years searching for a position.

Searching for a job is very overwhelming and frustrating.

What I learned is:got work

  1. There are so many options it is overwhelming
  2. There are times when there seems to be no options to choose from
  3. Narrowing down a job position is essential
  4. Although I want to rush the process, the company has other concerns that can slow things
  5. Networking is essential
  6. Persistence pays off
  7. I must have confidence in myself and my abilities
  8. Seek help from anyone and everyone possible—the least they can say is no
  9. In time the right fit will come along
  10. God is in control and has a plan

What lessons have you learned?

Transitional Friday: Setting SMART Goals

Last week, we discussed 9 ways to set realistic goals, but left off with SMART goals.  So what are SMART Goals?

SMART Goals

  1. S=Specific—a specific goal  {ex.I will lose 20 pounds by the last day of November}smart goals 2
  2. M=Measurable—a concrete way to measure your goal.  {ex. I have 3 months to lose 20 pounds.  That’s about a pound and a half a week.}
  3. A=Attainable—Decide how to reach this goal and the steps that need to be taken to achieve the goal.  {ex. I need to exercise five days a week for 45 minutes and each 1500 calories a day}.
  4. R=Realistic—Is this goal achievable?  Is this something I can achieve? {see #5 above}
  5. T=Timely—Set a timeline for reaching this goal.  Otherwise you are less likely to reach that goal.  Thing of the goal being tangible.  Often if we can see, taste, smell, hear or feel the goal, we are more likely to achieve it.

 

How do you set realistic goals?  Do you use the SMART goals?

goals 2

Transitional Friday: 9 Ways to Set Realistic Goals

We’ve been discussing the importance of our choices and overcoming failure.  I thought it was important to discuss setting realistic goals.

So how do you set realistic goals?

  1. Write your goals down—look at the big picture for each area of your life {ie…career, finances, weight, relationships, spiritual walk, etc}.  Write down where you would ideally like to be in one year, five year, ten years, fifteen years, etc.goal
  2. Break the goal down—now break that goal down into smaller portions that are easier to maintain.  List the steps you need to take to reach this goal.  This could be anything from go back to school, to paying off a bill, to exercising each day for weight loss.
  3. Set Deadlines—set a deadline to reach the first part of your goal.  Once you’ve reached that goal, look at the next step and set a deadline to reach that goal.
  4. Schedule Time—schedule time for your goals.  I struggle with my weight and getting healthy.  I do much better when I schedule in time to exercise and what I will eat for the week than when I leave it up in the air “to get around to.”
  5. Be Realistic—have you set goals that can be honestly reached?  If you can’t carry a tune and want to be a pop singer, you may want to search for another dream.  However, if you’re a great artists, with practice and lessons you may be able to move to the next level.aim for stars
  6. Set Goals you WANT to learn—don’t do something because you feel that you should or are pressured into it.  Work toward your dreams and desires!
  7. Develop a plan—there are often obstacles that creep up and derail our plans.  For me, that struggle is again with my weight.  I do best when I decide in advance how to deal with this obstacle.  I then have more will power and am better prepared to overcome this obstacle and bounce back.
  8. Use positive reinforcement—use positive reinforcement, instead of saying “I can’t do this,” tell yourself, “I can do this if I will dedicate one hour a day to this endeavor, etc.”
  9. Don’t forget SMART goals—this may be the most important and the most actionable of all of the goals.  Often you hear about SMART goals in business, job interviews, higher education learning, etc.  So what are SMART Goals?

How do you set goals?

Next week: What are Smart Goals?

Transitional Friday: 9 Ways to Bounce Back from Failure

Failure success

 

 

There are times when no matter how much we try, we continuously face failure.  There have been several areas of my life, where nothing I’ve tried has succeeded.  I continue to face one failure after another.  Over time, this is enough to make anyone grow weary, frustrated, overwhelmed and even defeated.

So how do you continue to move forward when nothing is working?

  1. Don’t Give Up—if you are pursuing a dream, never give up, no matter how much defeat and frustration you receive.  I’ve heard some writers say that they received thousands of rejections before receiving a break through.  I’ve heard artists say that they worked for twenty years before making it big.  However, they never gave up.
  2. Keep Bouncing Back—this is much like never giving up, work through the emotions and bounce back.Churchill quote
  3. Evaluate—often I’ve had to go back and evaluate what worked, what didn’t work, and the why for each one.  Then I figure out what I can do differently and how to move forward from there.
  4. Be Realistic—often it’s easy to reach for our dreams without being realistic.  You will not become a concert pianists, if you refuse to practice the piano.
  5. Set Goals—often I feel like a fish at sea, but when I set goals and see where I’m going and what needs to be done to get there, I make much better progress.
  6. Be Open to Change—sometimes we need to be open to change, whether this is going in a different direction, taking a different approach, learning a different technique, etc.
  7. Never Stop Learning—continue to read, study and follow the experts in your field of interest.  There is so much that we can learn from these experts, including not on the subject matter but also what to do and not do.
  8. Be Open to Feedback—be open to accepting constructive criticism from others.  Yes, there is the occasional person{s} that wants to pull you down, however most people want to help you.  One critique method is the oreo method.  This starts with a positive, then adds what needs to be changed and ends again with a positive.
  9. Prayer—pray, seek God’s will and be willing to go in the direction in which He is leading.

Remember, you are not alone.  There are numerous examples of people that have failed before success.

Walt Disney faced numerous hardships before reaching success
Walt Disney faced numerous hardships before reaching success
  • Henry Ford had 5 businesses go broke before Ford Motor Company became successful.
  • Walt Disney faced multiple occurrences of being fired, bankrupt and failed businesses before succeeding.
  • Thomas Edison had over 1,000 unsuccessful inventions before inventing the light bulb.
  • Winston Churchill lost almost every election before being voted Prime Minister at age 62.
  • Before making it big in I Love Lucy, Lucille Ball was considered a failed actress and B movie star.
  • Vincent Van Gogh is considered the greatest artists of his time, but only sold one painting in his life time.

 

How do you bounce back from failure?  Who else has inspired you?

 

 

Transitional Friday: 10 Steps to Making a Decision

decisions

 

 

Last week we discussed how much our decisions matter.

Often when we’re in a transitional period, we don’t know which way to turn.  We often wonder what is the best path and how to decide.

Here are a few tips, I’ve discovered the hard way:

  1. Pray about the situation and seek God’s will
  2. Pretend a friend came to you with this situation.  How would you advise a friend?decisions2
  3. Journal your thoughts and feelings about the situation.
  4. Make a list of the Pros and Cons to the situation.
  5. Listen to your gut and what your instincts or saying.
  6. Imagine 20 years from now.  Do you see regret?  What would your future self tell you now?
  7. Write out all of your concerns and seek the answers.
  8. Role Play—if this involves another individual role play the situation {even if you do this with a different friend or spouse}.  This often gives you the other individuals point of view.
  9. Limit the information and don’t focus on too much information.  You’ve heard the adage that the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.  This is the same idea.  I often worry about issues way down the line, instead of the present.
  10. Pray—this is so important, it’s worth repeating.  Pray, study the Bible and seek God’s will in the situation.

 

How do you make a decision?

Transitional Friday: 10 Questions to Ask if Our Choices Matter

life is all about choices

 

 

 

When I reached adulthood, I made a lot of dumb choices.  At the time I did not think about the long term affect these choices would have on my life.  Some of these choices effected the direction of my life, made life a lot more difficult and cost me some of my dreams.

I didn’t stop to think or pray about what I was doing and I did not consider the long term cost these decisions would have on my life.

Some questions we can ask when looking at our choices and decisions are:

  1. How does this affect me now?choices
  2. How will this affect my future?
  3. Is this a want or a need?
  4. Does this have a life and death impact?
  5. Can I wait or postpone for a better future?
  6. Do I feel pressured to make this decision or change?
  7. What does The Bible say about this situation?
  8. What does my gut say?
  9. Am I following my intuition, my heart, my dreams or my hormones?
  10. What does God say about this?

Most importantly, take time to pray and ask God for guidance and direction.

What mistakes have you made that you wish you could change