Overcoming Our Fear

Several months ago, I wrote about my struggle to cross a bridge. This is a fear of mine I had to work through.

There are times when we can move through a fear and easily reach the other side. There are other times when it is a struggle and we have to keep working through the steps to overcome our fear.

When we reach the other side we are a different person

One reason some fears are easier to overcome than others, is because some fears have greater strongholds on our lives than other fears.

But, we can overcome our fear and reach the other side. We will find we have changed from the inside out and we’re different people.

Maybe your fear isn’t walking across a bridge, but public speaking or fear of failure or spiders or the dark.

Take a deep breath and say a prayer. Then try to speak to a group of people {nursing homes are a great place to start}; try a new venture; stare at a spider or if you’re really brave hold it; or turn off the lights for a minute. How do you feel once you’re on the other side?  You came through it and even if you never do it again, you know you can do it if you have to.

What does the Bible tell us about fear?

  1. “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.”  {Proverbs 12:25}
  2. “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.”  {Psalm 94:19}
  3.  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” {2 Timothy 1:7}
  4. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”  {Joshua 1:9}
  5. “Humble yourselves, then, under God’s mighty hand, so that he will lift you up in his own good time.  Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you.”  {1 Peter 5:6-7}

Take the time to meditate on these promises, while giving your fear to the Lord.  What fears has He helped you overcome?

Working Through Our Fear

I have a friend who is afraid of water. She refused to go near a pool.  Finally, after years of talking about it, she changed into her bathing suit.

Slowly, after much encouragement she put her foot on the top step. It took an hour to get her down the steps and to the shallow end of the pool. We were never able to get her past this point, but I was proud of her for taking so a bold and proactive step to even get in the pool.

She had to work through her fear and while we worked on each step, we discussed why she was afraid of water and how this effected her life.

Sometimes we need to be pushed through our fear

Working through our fears is not easy, but to move through them and past them, this is exactly what we have to do.

How do we work through our fear?

  1. Pray and give the fear to the Lord
  2. Take the time to work through the fear and issue. The answer or the fix is not going to happen overnight. It took a while for it to become a stronghold and will take even longer for the stronghold to be released, but it will never be released if we don’t work through it and ask the Lord for help.
  3. Take a break from whatever is holding these emotional ties. In time, it will provide new perspective.
  4. Talk it out with a friend or a counselor who will listen, but will also be honest.
  5. Ask for accountability in overcoming the issue or working through the problem
  6. Exercise is a great way to clear the mind and help us to see things different and it is good for both the body and the mind.
  7. Stop thinking about it by reading a book, taking a nap, going for a long drive, enjoying a hobby or learning something new.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  {Isaiah 41:10}

To work through your fear, why not work through each of these seven steps. How have these steps helped you work through your fear?

Discovering What is Holding Us Back

Last week, we discussed recognizing our fear.

I don’t know about you, but I have allowed my fears to hold me back and to keep me from living the best life the Lord has for me.

What is holding you back from reaching the other side?

This has effected my life in many ways, including my health and self-confidence.

I have had to dig deep to discover what is holding me back.  I took the list I made last week of my fears and I began to ask myself:

  1. How is this effecting my life?
  2. How has this taken a hold on me?
  3. Why am I allowing this to continue to have a hold on my life?
  4. How has this fear taken a hold on my life?

After all, why am I afraid when I should be trusting the Lord and giving my issue to Him.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”   {Philippians 4:6-7}

I hope you will also take the list you made last week and ask yourself these same questions.  What is holding you back?

Recognizing Our Fear

For too long I have allowed fear to run my life and have a firm hold on my life.

Most of my fears are unfounded and unrealistic, but they are also very real.  I’ve allowed them to take hold of me and to hold on too fast, the way weeds overtake the garden.

Our fears are larger in our minds than reality 

One of the biggest steps I’ve made is recognizing the fear and that it is there.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”  {1 John 4:18}

I made a list of the areas in which I was fearful and why I was fearful.

Do you know what I discovered?

  1. What I am afraid of has already happened. The past is using fear to hold on to me.
  2. This fear is preventing me from moving forward and accepting the best the Lord has for me.

How has fear overtaken your life?  Take a few minutes to make your own list.

Rest and Relaxation Wellness

Resting is hard for me.  There is always so much to do.  I feel lazy by not working on my to do list.

Do you take time to rest?
Do you take time to rest?

However, God wants us to rest.  He calls for us to rest.

We are told that God created the world in six days and on the seventh day He rested.

God tells us to “Keep the Sabbath day holy.”

Times have changed over the last fifty years, but not that long ago people went for rides in the country after church on Sunday or sat on the front porch and visited with family.  Even task such as cooking and ironing were frowned upon.

Life has definitely changed from the go, go, go world we live in today where life is nonstop and when we’re not working, running the kids everywhere, shopping, or any other numerous task we are connected via social media, cell phones, iPads and numerous other devices.

This includes:

We all need to take time to rest and relax
We all need to take time to rest and relax

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Taking it easy
  • Not over doing
  • Having time to enjoy pursuits we enjoy
  • Savoring the moment
  • Spending time with family
  • Enjoying a hobby
  • Prayer and Meditation
  • Reading a good book
  • Disconnecting from social media for a time
  • Enjoying ME time
  • Enjoying a movie, hike, walk, boat ride or any number of other activities we enjoy

 

As you can see rest does not mean just getting the sleep we need, but also taking a deep breath and enjoying other hobbies we enjoy.

What is Occupational Wellness?

Several years ago, I had a job which just the thought of it kept me tied up in knots.  The atmosphere felt toxic to my soul.   Sadly, things did not end well but God used the experience to teach me lessons and move me to where He would have me serve Him.

Occupational Wellness is contributing your unique talents, gifts and skills to be personally rewarding and have meaning in your life.

Some questions to ask yourself are:

Do you enjoy what you do or are you part of the rat race?
Do you enjoy what you do or are you part of the rat race?

  • Do I enjoy work most days?
  • Do I have a manageable workload?
  • Am I doing what I feel God is calling me to do?
  • Can I talk with my boss and co-workers when problems arise?
  • Am I using my gifts, skills and talents?
  • Am I personally being rewarded? {this does not necessarily mean finically}
  • Do I find meaning in what I do?
  • Am I working towards my goals, dreams and ambitions?
  • Am I satisfied?
  • Do I have a work-life balance?
  • Do I feel inspired and challenged?
  • Do I feel good at the end of the day?

 

Some ways to improve occupational wellness include:

Are you preparing for the future and enjoying your calling?
Are you preparing for the future and enjoying your calling?

  • Avoid overworking
  • Find a work-life balance
  • Enjoy what you do
  • Write out your goals and create a plan
  • Increase your skill set and knowledge
  • Talk with a career counselor if you feel stuck
  • Search for the positive benefits

How do you find occupational or career wellness?

What is Environmental Wellness?

Recently I became very sick and discovered it was my environment.  I had to make changes around the house for my health.

Environmental wellness relates to our environment, whether it is our physical home, our job, those we work with, or those in our family.

Environmental Wellness also relates to our planet and how we care for the natural resources on this earth. This means we strive to care for our planet and protect our world.

Some things to take into consideration about our environment:

Do you help care for your environment?
Do you help care for your environment?

  • Am I aware of my surroundings at all time?
  • Am I safe?
  • Do I recycle?
  • Are there any safety hazards?
  • Do I respect nature?
  • Am I respected by others and do I respect others in return?
  • Is my home or job place environmentally safe?
  • Do I walk or bike instead of using a car?

 

What steps do you take for environmental wellness?

What is Intellectual Wellness?

We live in a changing world.  Understanding what is going on and being able to carry on a communication helps us with not only our social and personal relationships, but also increases our creativity and curiosity.

We do not have to be in school to keep learning.  Life is an ongoing lesson and classroom.

An intellectually well person is open to new ideas and understandings and enjoys learning and being mentally stimulated.

Books is one way to increase intellectual wellness
Books is one way to increase intellectual wellness

Some ways to keep learning and increase our intellectual wellness include:

  • Read for both fun and to learn
  • Keep abreast of current events
  • Improve skills for studying
  • Play a musical instrument
  • Learn a foreign language
  • Learn a new craft or hobby
  • Be creative
  • Journal your thoughts and feelings
  • Travel
  • Keep the mind sharp with crossword puzzles and suduko
  • Take a class for fun—online classes and affordable classes are available on sites such as Udemy or YouTube

How do you keep your mind sharp?

What is Relationship Wellness?

We are in all types of relationships, although the first thing that may come to our mind is a romantic relationship.

However, there are relationships we have with all kinds of people:

We have all kinds of relationships with various people in our lives
We have all kinds of relationships with various people in our lives

  • Our spouse
  • Our parents
  • Our siblings
  • Our children
  • Our co-workers
  • Our neighbors
  • Our friends
  • The people at church
  • The people at a club we are part of
  • Friends that share an interest
  • And so forth…

We all want to have a healthy relationship, regardless of what type of relationship that might be.  None of us wants to be around people that drain us or bring the worse out of us.

Some aspects of relationship wellness include:

Relationships are about building a trust and a bond
Relationships are about building a trust and a bond

  • Treating one another with respect
  • Trusting one another
  • Resolving conflicts satisfactorily
  • Supporting one another
  • Clear and open communication
  • Encouraging one another
  • Making healthy decisions
  • Understanding when to say no or back away

 

Is there a relationship in which you struggle with any of these relationship aspects?

Positive Peer Re-Enforcement

I have a resident that is so soft spoken it is almost impossible to understand what she is saying.

Positive reinforcement can yield positive results
Positive reinforcement can yield positive results

In the past when she spoke it was completely undistinguishable.  Even speech therapy had stopped working with her.

However, her roommate is very patient with her.  She coaxes and encourages her to speak in a manner that is kind and caring.

Lately, I’ve noticed that this sweet lady is speaking more distinctly and louder.

It’s amazing what a little encouragement and love can accomplish.

What positive re-enforcements have you seen from peer interaction?

What is Social Wellness?

Being a natural introvert, means it’s more difficult to push myself out of my comfort zone to meet new people or hang out with friends.  For extroverts, it’s much easier to get out and mingle with friends.

Social wellness is the ability we have to interact with the people around us.

How do you get along with others when not online?
How do you get along with others when not online?

This includes:

  • Understanding if we are an introvert or extrovert
  • Communication skills
  • Building meaningful relationships
  • Creating a support system
  • Learning to read people
  • Watching out for people that drain us
  • Blooming where we are planted
  • Stepping out of our comfort zone
  • Respecting yourself and others

 

Where do you shine or struggle with social wellness?

Breaking the Ice with Dementia

I have several patients that most staff and visitors are scared to approach.  This is mainly due to their disability or behavior.

However, I’ve determined to get to know these residents and spend time with them.

So what have I learned? What are some ways to break the ice with dementia patients?

It may take a while to break the ice but it is definitely worth it
It may take a while to break the ice but it is definitely worth it

  • This takes time
  • Slowly, but surely we both warm to one another
  • Touch shows I care
  • Music is a great way to break the ice
  • Even short visits show I care
  • I need to genuinely care
  • Speak with the family to learn about this person and their life
  • Find one thing we can bond over {each person is different but there is something}
  • This takes time
  • I can’t rush the process
  • Don’t give up

How have you broken the ice?

What is Creative Wellness?

We are all creative in some way, although some people are more Intune to their creative side.

Creative wellness is understanding what and how to use our creative side.

Do you embrace your creativity?
Do you embrace your creativity?

This includes:

  • How to be creative
  • Utilizing our creative side
  • Discovering how to learn to be creative
  • Daydreaming, Brainstorming and visualizing
  • Making the most of our creativity
  • Turning our creativity into a hobby
  • Turning our creative hobby into a sideline business
  • To not censor ourselves
  • Do not be too critical
  • To reach for our dreams
  • To collaborate with others

 

What is your greatest struggle with creative wellness?

Power of Touch

I have several residents that are difficult to reach and many people don’t even try to get to know them.  I feel as if they are the ones missing out.

Touch can make a big difference in Alzheimer's
Touch can make a big difference in Alzheimer’s

One way to reach out to a bed bound, hard of hearing or comatose patient is through the power of touch.

  • Just a hand on their arm
  • a squeeze of the hand
  • a hand massage
  • a stroke of their upper arm
  • a pat of their foot

These are all ways the power of touch can work.  It doesn’t have to be for long, but even a minute of this can show you still care and connect you.

What way has the power of touch worked for you?

What is Financial Wellness?

We all must deal with finances, whether they are in good shape or need to get in shape.

Personally, I struggle with paying off my student loan.  This is an issue many adults deal with.

How is your finances?
How is your finances?

Financial wellness is the state of our finances.  This includes:

  • Working towards becoming debt free
  • Paying our bills
  • Learning where to cut costs
  • Preparing and planning for the future
  • Building a nest egg

Where do you struggle with financial wellness?

Alzheimer’s Perception of Situation

We have a resident that is well over 100 years of age.  Although she has dementia, she also has lucid moments.  Recently, I stopped in to visit with her and had a conversation we’d never had before.

Dementia patients often see much more than we think
Dementia patients often see much more than we think

Me: “How are you?”

Her: “I’m sad.”

Me: “Why are you sad?”

Her: “Someone was talking about me.”

Me: “What did they say?”

Her: “I don’t know but I didn’t like it.”

This was a reminder that even when we think an individual with dementia or Alzheimer’s does not know what we are saying, there are times when they do understand.

Even if they do not understand the words they may understand in a number of other ways.

This can include:

Dementia Patients know how you make them feel
Dementia Patients know how you make them feel

  • Tone of voice
  • Touch
  • Look on our face
  • Attitude toward that individual
  • Perception

What ways have you noticed an Alzheimer’s individual is perceptive to their situation?

What is Spiritual Wellness?

My relationship with God is important to me.  However, it’s not always been that way.  I had to go through some very difficult times and discover I had no where else to turn before I rededicated my life to Christ.

How is your relationship with God?
How is your relationship with God?

However, there are still times when life gets in the way and I become so busy that I realize I am neglecting our time together.

Spiritual wellness is “a matter of values and beliefs that provide a purpose in our lives.”  For me, this means a relationship with Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

For me this means:

  • Discovering how to be quiet and listen
  • Studying Scripture
  • Resting in God and not worrying
  • Praying, Meditating and worshipping
  • Living a life that honors God
  • Showing Forgiveness
  • Being willing to share Christ with others
  • Growing my faith and relationship with Christ

What does spiritual wellness mean to you?