Caregiving | Trinity Christian Life Coaching

Caregiving Monday: When Heaven Nears

Posted on May 12, 2014August 24, 2016 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

When my grandmother, GG*, discovered her first cousin had passed, her response was “I’m the oldest now.” She has few first cousins left on either side of the family and is the oldest and next to oldest living on each side.

What GG did not voice, but the rest of us understood her saying was, “I’m next.” We know that she is ready, whenever the time comes. She grows tired much easier now and has often told us in the last few years that she is ready. Although we know she loves us, there are times when it is obvious that she is ready.

“I’ll be with God and the rest of my family,” she tells us. Her faith in God is strong and she’s made it clear that she can’t wait to be with Him. She also talks about her parents, siblings, and other loved ones with such longing that we know she’s ready.

When the time comes she will be missed by those she’s left behind, but we’ll know that she was ready and that we will see her again one day.

However, what happens when your loved one isn’t ready? I sat with Mrs. W* and she wasn’t ready. She was always afraid of death. She was raised to believe that you got to heaven by good works and she felt that she was never good enough.

Thankfully she had family and caregivers that all believed in God. We read to her from the Bible, sung hymns to her, watched church on TV and told her stories from the Bible. At first she was not very receptive, but we never pushed her. If she wasn’t interested we stopped, but we all continued to pray for her.

We noticed that she slowly grew more receptive and even asked for us to tell her more. Finally someone asked if she’d like to accept Christ into her heart. She said she would and was led in the sinners prayer.

Even though she suffered from dementia, there were moments when she had great clarity and we could see the change in her attitude towards Christ. When she passed away, we all had great peace because we knew that we would see her again one day.

Do you know where your loved one stands in view of eternity? Do you take the opportunity to share Christ love with your loved one?

*Names altered

Tweetables:

When Heaven Nears

Preparing for your loved one for heaven

Caregiving: A Blessing or a Curse

Posted on May 5, 2014April 30, 2014 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

“Let me finish this,” I snapped in exasperation. I was setting down my drink, but GG* was not willing to wait on me to put it down. I could tell from the way she grabbed for her lunch there would be a spill to clean up. I had no desire to see her food all over the kitchen floor, and knew that she didn’t either.

“Be thankful,” a small voice whispered inside my soul. Just three days earlier, I’d been reminded of how much I had to be thankful for with GG.

We’d left early Thursday morning to drive to a neighboring town for the funeral of her first cousin. GG and the sibling to the cousin were the only grandchildren that remained of fifty-five grandchildren to her maternal grandparents.

Following the funeral we stopped to check in on another dear cousin {on another side of the family}, only a month older than GG. My heart broke to see our once vibrant and composed loved one, living in a body that was a shell of the woman we remembered and loved.

By the time we returned home, GG was exhausted and needed to rest, but just the fact that at two months shy of 90 years old, she could make this trip, I knew how blessed we were.

GG is far from perfect and has had her own string of health issues over the years, but she’s been an amazing fighter in bouncing back. Then moments after tucking GG to bed on Thursday evening, the fire truck and ambulance pull up. I look out the window, to discover they are there for a neighbor that fell. Once again, as the day closes, I am reminded of what a blessing GG is and to cherish this time that I have with her.

I know that inevitably the day will come when things change and she is no longer here. So I take a deep breath, pick her plate of food up and follow her to her chair. “Thank you for GG and this time together,” I remind myself in a silent prayer.

Are you taking time to see the blessing in caring for your loved one?

*Name altered

Tweetables:

Caregiving, is it a blessing or a curse?

The joys and frustrations of caregiving

Why care giving is both a blessing and a curse

10 Activities to Engage an Alzheimer’s Patient

Posted on March 15, 2014March 15, 2014 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease that slowly steals our loved one away from us. By the time the disease has run its course, our loved one can become completely incapacitated. By engaging the patient and allowing them to participate in activities, we are attempting offsetting the movement of this disease.

When endeavoring to engage the patient in these activities, make sure that the exercise is within the capability of the patient. You want this to be something that is as fail proof as possible.

Music—music is very therapeutic for most people. Choose music your loved one enjoys and can relate to. This may be a specific style or specific songs that have a special meaning. While the patient is listening to the music you could introduce movement activities such as dance, play instruments, sing or exercise. {Depending on the patient’s capability}.
Puzzle—puzzles are a great way to keep the mind engaged. Depending on the capability of the patient will depend on the complexity of a puzzle. Just remember that even a simple child’s puzzle is a great activity.
Pictures and Memory Books—using pictures of special places, events and people in the patient’s life is a great way to help the patient to remember and connect. You never know what memories may surface.
Reading—reading is a great way to engage the patient. If the patient is willing to read to you, this is a wonderful outlet for them. However, don’t forget that you could also read out loud to the patient. Stop and ask questions throughout the story make sure they understand the storyline.
Crossword Puzzles—Crossword puzzles, Sudoku and other similar games are a great activity to engage the patient. Allow them to do as much as possible and gently prod when and as necessary.
Old Hobbies—did your loved one enjoy knitting, crafting, cooking, singing, gardening or another hobby? Incorporating these activities into the patient’s day is a great way to keep them active. Depending on their capability you may have to make adjustments to meet their current needs. {Ex. Bring in a pot and allow your loved one to plant into the pot.}
Draw or coloring books—drawing or coloring in coloring books are great utilities to keep the patient active and engaged. You can discuss what they are drawing or coloring and relate it to various memories.
Play ball—using a balloon or soft ball you can toss the object back and forth. Maybe with each pass of the ball ask a question {ex. What is your favorite hobby, what is your favorite color, etc.}
Shuffle a prayer or poem—write out a prayer {ex. Lord’s Prayer}, favorite scripture or poem and print it out in large type. Then cut this into pieces {ex. Our Father; who art in heaven; etc}. Have your loved one put the verse back together.
Pets—pets are very therapeutic for many people. Spending time and playing with a family or neighbor dog is a great activity. Remember to take into consideration how the patient reacts to animals and/or any allergies.

When introducing an activity, decide the best time of day for the patient. When is your loved one at his/her best or have the most energy? In closing, I want to encourage you not to grow discouraged. If one activity doesn’t work, another may. The best way to know what is a success is through trial and error.

What activity works best with your loved one?

10 Ways to Deal with Caregiver Burnout

Posted on March 15, 2014March 15, 2014 by trinitychristianlifecoaching

Caregiving is a tough job. Depending on the need of the individual, you have little time to yourself. Your primary goal and focus is on the care of your loved one. During this time it is very easy to suffer from burnout. You are giving so much of yourself to others that you have little time for yourself.

Part of being a good caregiver, is also taking care of yourself. You need time to refresh your own batteries, so that you can offer your best to your loved one.

Ten ways to care for yourself are:

Go to the movies—this gives you time to just relax and allow your mind and body to rest as you escape through the characters in the story.
Get a Mani/Pedi—take time to spoil yourself and get a mani/pedi. This is an activity that doesn’t take a lot of time but allows you to relax and pamper yourself.
Go out with friends—we all need time with other people. Sometimes you just need someone that you can have a conversation with {regardless of the subject}.
Go for a walk—this activity cost nothing and exercise is good for your heart and mindset. You can use this time to enjoy the silence, listen to music or pray. This is a great way to work off additional energy, frustrations and/or anger. Exercise is also a great mood booster if you discover that you are becoming depressed.
Read a book—pick up your latest author’s newest novel and delve into the story. This is a great way to recharge your batteries when it’s difficult to leave the patient. You can go into another room or outside to enjoy your book.
Take time to play—whether you have a pet or enjoy a good round of golf, take time to endeavor yourself in your favorite activity. You will be surprised at what thirty minutes of play a day will do for your mindset.
Laugh—laughter is a great way to reduce stress. Find something that makes you laugh, whether it’s your favorite sitcom, a YouTube video, or the antics of your grandchildren.
Enjoy your favorite craft—whether you enjoy knitting, embroidery, crafts, or another outlet working on your favorite craft is a great way to recharge your batteries. Decide what craft you enjoy most, choose a project and dedicate thirty minutes each day to this endeavor.
Go for a massage—this is a great way to relax and loosen your tight muscles.
Garden—moving your fingers through the earth and working with the beauty of nature and flowers is a refreshing activity that many enjoy. You have the opportunity to take in the beauty around you and allow your mind to wonder.

These are just ten suggestions of things you can do to care for yourself and refresh your batteries. Remember, when we care for ourselves we are in much better shape to care for our loved one.

How do you refresh your batteries?